Oh Em Gee at the Dee Em Vee. There is possibly a lot of swearing in this post.

K, y'all.  Let me preface this with admitting that I was accidentally almost sorta late renewing my car tags.  It seems they expired on July 31st, and for those of you who have time to or are required to pay attention to what day it is the 31st was Sunday and since the car taggy office doesn't seem to be open on the weekend I found myself standing in a loooooooooooooong line Monday afternoon to "take advantage of the 1 day grace period" because where I'm from an expired tag ticket will run you $139 but you shouldn't quote me on that because the one I got was 4 years ago and it has probably gone up to at least $1,358 by now.

I wouldn't have minded the line so much seeing as how it was my own fault I had to endure it, but more than once I found myself thinking "I sure wish that woman behind me had gotten a shower in recent weeks".  I'm really not one to poke fun at others as I am typically too busy jankin' on myself, but while my mama taught me to bite my tongue she neglected to tell me to bite my typing fingers as well.   Stinky more than STANK, Y'all...so bad that several times I fought the urge to throw up in my own mouth.

About an hour into the wait the precious adorable snatch her away from her mama and bring her home Gerber baby in line ahead of me contributed her own ...uh.... perfume to the room and dang near ran the rest of us out, including Stinky who had the nerve to hiss an audible guffaw in the direction of Gerber baby.

The best unfun thing of the day was when I finally got back in the Jeep and drove around the courthouse fourteen times before going down the same 4 side streets trying to find my short cut out of a town that is already so small you could throw a rock and hit yourself.  And yes,  fourteen totally deserves to be spelled out.  Because it was FOURTEEN.

Finally I pulled over and called my bestie to beg "The mofo courthouse is SUCKING ME IN! Help!"

N.E.V.E.R. A.G.A.I.N.

Dear stupid me, go get your stupid tag on the first day of the stupid month next stupid year or I will tape a piece of boiled egg inside each nostril of your nose for an entire day.    I mean it. 

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Anyway.

Y'all know I had to get my vanity on like I did in 2009 and 2010 ~  And so far only ONE person has figured it out instead of looking at me like I'm clearly the only speaker of my native tongue.  Which means I'm counting on my awesome sauces to get it.  That means you.

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My Anniversary SALE is still going on as are the Giveaways ~  and they are definitely worth checking out.  Because they don't stink.  Promise.

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