August 2, 2011

Oh Em Gee at the Dee Em Vee. There is possibly a lot of swearing in this post.

K, y'all.  Let me preface this with admitting that I was accidentally almost sorta late renewing my car tags.  It seems they expired on July 31st, and for those of you who have time to or are required to pay attention to what day it is the 31st was Sunday and since the car taggy office doesn't seem to be open on the weekend I found myself standing in a loooooooooooooong line Monday afternoon to "take advantage of the 1 day grace period" because where I'm from an expired tag ticket will run you $139 but you shouldn't quote me on that because the one I got was 4 years ago and it has probably gone up to at least $1,358 by now.

I wouldn't have minded the line so much seeing as how it was my own fault I had to endure it, but more than once I found myself thinking "I sure wish that woman behind me had gotten a shower in recent weeks".  I'm really not one to poke fun at others as I am typically too busy jankin' on myself, but while my mama taught me to bite my tongue she neglected to tell me to bite my typing fingers as well.   Stinky more than STANK, Y' bad that several times I fought the urge to throw up in my own mouth.

About an hour into the wait the precious adorable snatch her away from her mama and bring her home Gerber baby in line ahead of me contributed her own ...uh.... perfume to the room and dang near ran the rest of us out, including Stinky who had the nerve to hiss an audible guffaw in the direction of Gerber baby.

The best unfun thing of the day was when I finally got back in the Jeep and drove around the courthouse fourteen times before going down the same 4 side streets trying to find my short cut out of a town that is already so small you could throw a rock and hit yourself.  And yes,  fourteen totally deserves to be spelled out.  Because it was FOURTEEN.

Finally I pulled over and called my bestie to beg "The mofo courthouse is SUCKING ME IN! Help!"

N.E.V.E.R. A.G.A.I.N.

Dear stupid me, go get your stupid tag on the first day of the stupid month next stupid year or I will tape a piece of boiled egg inside each nostril of your nose for an entire day.    I mean it. 



Y'all know I had to get my vanity on like I did in 2009 and 2010 ~  And so far only ONE person has figured it out instead of looking at me like I'm clearly the only speaker of my native tongue.  Which means I'm counting on my awesome sauces to get it.  That means you.


My Anniversary SALE is still going on as are the Giveaways ~  and they are definitely worth checking out.  Because they don't stink.  Promise.



  1. Indy Artist!! WOOT! I'm excited for myself that it "clicked"! Would've sat here all day trying to figure it out!! Love your make me laugh!! Alicia (I follow you un-anonymously, but have to post comments anonymously...weird)

  2. Alicia, you rock my friend.

    Indie Artist it is, and Indy works just as well.

    Thanks for reading the crazy and mostly for understanding it. :~D

    I was actually going to get NDARTST, but the first word out of my bestie's mouth was Darts...It's something about darts?

    Yeah. Um. No.

    So I subtracted the A (because MATH!) and left a blank space between the 'words' (because ENGLISH!)

  3. Oh yeah..duh..Indie...I was too excited to worry about technicalities like spelling!! :0) Alicia

  4. I was going to say that but then why Indie? you totally made me almost throw up in my own mouth with your description! Oh girl I was feelin bad for ya!!! Hugs!!!!!!!

  5. Indie Artists rock! Especially Juls!

  6. You are one of the best and brightest ND RTISTs!
    Enjoy the day!

  7. don't go throwin' stuff at me..but here in Texas ,you can get those tags at lots of grocery stores..and on sundays too..cause i always forget until the last day too.

  8. How in the world can someone not get it - Indie Artist.

    Okay, maybe North Dakota artist. hehe

  9. Okay, I suck at these things and I am glad someone got it. It is almost like the gestalt pictures...just don't see it :)
    Sorry about the long lines and not so fragrant people in line with you. I hear you about hating to wait in lines, thank goodness for online purchasing of tags!!!!
    Have a great week girl!

  10. Indie Artist -- very clever!
    I totally forgot mine last year. Three Days late: tags; taxes; tow charges and fines = $469. I got them as soon as mine were available this year.
    Never had this much "fun" at my DMV.

  11. Oh. Heavens. I so needed to read that today! Not that I don't feel for ya in the stank line, cause I've been there, but....that was dang funny! :)

  12. I'm glad I'm not the only one who's awful at remembering to renew the registration stuff-and we can even do it at the grocery store if it's not past due...I got to do the stank thang a couple of weeks ago, so I sympathize!

    And I love your Indie Artist plates :) some people just aren't cool enough to get it...that's how Indie you are :)

  13. Juls, you are the funniest person with a blog I know!! I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants and cried too. Wish I could fake the drawl you come by so naturally. We have the worst DMV's ever here in Las Vegas, the first time I went I was there for 6 hours, take a ticket and they have about 100 chairs set up for you to sit and wait. I learned fast to NEVER< EVER< EVER wait to the last day of the month to get anything done and whenever possible do it online or at the do it yourself kiosk, cause my little town has about 5 million people living in it and they all go there. PS some of them smell too!! LOL

  14. And here, I thought it said "Not arrested" :)