January 10, 2016

I kind of miss writing this blog.

It seems FB, Twitter, and Instagram have taken over lives.   I thought I'd maybe stroll over here and see if this thing still works, or if I would be writing only to myself.  Which is totally fine and would fit perfectly with all the conversations of the same nature.

That glass thing?
I still do it.


What are YOU up to?

~~

August 1, 2015

I think about this blog several times a week right before an idea takes hold and I have to hit the torch. Which is not a bad thing, except Hi there!


I've lost track of the bead sets I've made in the last few months at 1111.  It seemed like a good place to stop counting.  I'm having more fun than one person should be allowed which I should maybe feel guilty about but I don't because I'm working my noassatall off, y'all.

There's a long not perfect story behind this cross, and I'm going to share it if only to cinch the healing that it has brought.  Y'all know I lost my Nana last year, and y'all know that wreaked a whole lotta havoc in my life for a couple of months.  Fast forward and a long time friend inquired about a custom cross for her parents for Christmas.  I agreed, thinking it was exactly the thing I needed to focus on to get right in the world again.  And then December 9th my daddy died.

You know that girl who holds her head up and goes about life through trauma appearing to be untouched and capable and FINE?  I'm that girl.  Everyone kept expressing concern and I kept assuring everyone that I was completely fine.  Because y'all please just let me be fine.

December 23rd I had to help my sweet Chelseagirl cross the rainbow bridge.  And I was no longer fine nor capable of pretending to be fine so if everyone could just please leave me alone that would be great thanks.

Do I need to say here that the cross wasn't finished by Christmas?  Probably not.

In January my oldest friend of 44 years died, and my giveadamn completely busted.

In February Poppop died and the utter numbness that followed...well, no words.

I threw myself into making beads, and by threw myself I mean I sat in front of my torch for 12-16 hours a day every day 7 days a week.  It let me keep breathing with at least a tentative grasp on the world.

I pulled this cross out periodically to try.  To try coming back. To try feeling something.  There were days I did nothing but stare at it for hours before tucking it away again.

I took it to the beach, just me and it in a room for 5 days, and found myself slowly moving forward.  On it.  On acceptance.  On me.

After 9 months it is finished.  And I don't feel so broken anymore.  In fact, I might even say I'm fine.




~~





May 29, 2015

30 Word Thursday ~ except it is Friday because I missed it this week. Sooo....


Let's talk beads, k?

Trunk Shows.  I've been doing them in a sweet little group that I co-manage on FB.  If you haven't signed up yet, get that booty scootin'.  There are many beautifully talented bead makers having trunk shows every month.  Lampwork Bazaar


Here's the sorta thing I've been offering~

 




Come play with us!

~~





May 21, 2015

30 word Thursday ~ On turning Fodee Fo (In April)

I haven't written here in so long that I think I must be writing to myself. 
 
 
That's okay though, because I've reached the age when my
oDdiTies
have
become
acceptable.

(not that I ever cared)
(I am way over 30 words now)
(well, not way, at least I wasn't until I tried to clarify)
(yeah.  me and rules)
(not so much)

~~

December 15, 2014

Christmas 2014

Christmas is My Jam, y'all.
I have let it go by these last few difficult years
without much of a thought,
but I told myself when I lost my Nana
this summer that nothing, nor anyone, would ever
prevent me from celebrating the joy of this season again.

And I meant it.

So last Friday night Scott helped me put up my tree.
We had to restring all the lights twice
because I started the top strand backwards.

Because of course I did.
We laughed a little at that.


And then I asked him to leave
so that I could cry in private.

This is my daddy.



He died last week.

It looks like my best friend will be joining
me in the same loss very soon.

Her daddy went back into the hospital today.

I think the only thing keeping either one of us standing
is having to hold each other up.

I sit at my torch staring blankly at nothing.
I haven't made a single worthy bead
in a week.

I need the people in my life to have some joy, y'all.

That's the only way I'm going to find any.

~~