On top of becoming the accidental crazy cat lady, and probably because of my endless need to be as
"That is not your space. GETDOWNrightnow."
"This is my lunch. GetyourPAWSOFFmyplate."
"My plants are not a litterbox. Gopoopinthewoods."
Now I know what you are thinking and yes, to humans it probably does sound a lot like screaming...but that's only because it IS screaming.
Cat whispering is hard, y'all. I might as well go stick my head in the pond out back and be a fish whisperer. I bet I could at least make them stop jacking up the toilet paper.
And then there's this...Which is totally "aaaaaw!!! Precious kitty trusts mama so much she'll bare her big fat pink belly!"
Except I am quite sure this just is part of The Kitteh's master plan, because she knows playing the cuteness card makes humans lose their ability to reason. Which means she can now easily hypnotize me into believing she isn't plotting to own the world. Or at least the things in her world...to include my kitchen bar, my lunch, my beads, and every damn roll of toilet paper I bring into this house.
And stop calling me JamesEarlJones.