I needed to step away or I was going to hit the point of donefinishedoverCUETHEFATLADY, so I did what any artist who is me would do. I spent a ton of money on new glass, uprgraded my torch, bought all kinds of new tools to play with, and then a month later realized that throwing money at the problem hadn't fixed it. So I took a break. I didn't even go near my torch for 9 months. I took a job bartending in a strip club~ yes, you read that right~ for an old friend. Bartending had paid for my edukayshun, so I figured it could probably handle the mortgage for a little while. I was right.
I hated the job from day one. I hated going to work, I hated being at work, I hated leaving work knowing I'd have to show back up there to work again. Still? I did it because I felt so out of touch with my creative spirit that it seemed little more than a vague memory.
I don't remember what made me light the torch again that first time. Maybe it was curiosity, maybe it was necessity. All I can say for certain is that it was not inspiration. It would take patience to find that again. And a sense of humor. And a lot of Prayer.
I did eventually find my rhythm, a renewed love for the glass, and a desire to spend time with it every day. I do still truly love the process, the possibilities, the feeling of holding something in my hand that would not have existed but for my efforts. I've learned to accept that sometimes a creative rut is necessary in order for us to challenge ourselves, to reach beyond our perceived limitations, to take the kind of chances that further our abilities and make us better. As artists and as people.
There are still times of worry when I need reminding to keep an open mind, to stop and pay attention, to let some things shape themselves~ both in glass and in life.
I am immeasurably blessed to have long ago discovered the avenue through which these reminders most often come and because I sometimes feel led to share the story again, I do.
Some recent Jars of Clay~
*beads that were intended to be something else but took shape instead as these:
Dead tree pieces and parts
make excellent photo backdrops
even on an overcast day.