December 4, 2014

And I happen to be an authority on the subject. So There.

Aeropostle was all "Hi There unsuspecting email reader!  50% off CLEARANCE PRICES!",  so I was like "Well Heck Yeah! Let me go look!"  A pair of sweats, 2 shirts, and a pair of sandals later...  LESS THAN THIRTY DOLLARS and that includes a Christmas present for my baby brother.    I totes rock.

My waiting on the postman list is long right now.  Glass, new torch tools, bead backing, Beadables from Karen Thomas, new biz cards, 2 pairs of closed toed shoes because other than boots I don't own any, Aero, and my main pressie to myself ~ Beach Body PiYo which according to the tracking is sitting at my local PO for delivery tomorrow which Yo!, my body ain't gettin' any beachier with them holding my Pi.

I'm sitting here typing right now while my belly is sitting here in my lap.  It is very unbeachbodyish,  y'all.
This is the first in a lot of years that I've had any breathing room at all to shop post Thanksgiving sales.   As design would have it, Glass and tools that have been on my wishlist for the same length of time hit the discount shelves.  I can't wait to play and grow.  It is something pretty amazing to be this excited about a job I've been doing for 12 years. 

But I haven't forgotten what destitution was like.  Stress is a killer, y'all.  Of the body, of the mind, a crusher of the creative spirit.  I had so many key people in my life telling me "Stop stressing!" for so long that, as much as I love them, they all started to take on the look of a punching bag walking around on 2 legs.  The advice was solid, but once you let that worry take root...well, y'all know.  You're alive, so you've dealt with it also.

I gave it to God so many times, again and again after I kept taking it back.
Here you go, Lord.
Psyche!  That's mine!
Okay here.  I want you to have it.
Wait.  No I don't.
Take it.

It will drive you crazy, and for some of us that is a short trip.  The horrendous break up a year ago finally broke me in a way that I couldn't have taken the stress of it back if I'd wanted to.  It made me question everything about my life, about my choices, about myself.  It was awful.  But it also made me realize just how strong my faith is, how loving my Lord is.  In the midst of the hurt and anger and fear there was always that quiet still voice inside assuring me that no matter my human frailty and failure, I am still good enough.   That experience changed me.  It planted me firmly in a place of peace and trust, where no matter what happens I once again Know that every little thing IS gonna be alright.  And that awesome far outweighed the awful of it all.

A lot has happened in the last year. Most importantly, I lost my Nana.  Everything that followed for 2 months is now sort of a blur.  Doing the estate sale and donations.  Cleaning out and up our family home.  Walking around those empty rooms and finally leaving my key as I walked out the door for the last time.  That was so hard, y'all.    I could never have done it had God not prepared me, had not first reminded me that He is always there.

Some of you are struggling right now.  Responsibilities, loneliness...whatever is burdening your heart please you are going through is only a stepping stone in your journey.  It is not final, but maybe in place to prepare you for the somethings to come.  The difficult somethings, the easy somethings, the sad somethings, the happy somethings. 

So do me a favor?




  1. You are beauty and light. Shine on, sistah. You make me smile real big. Hugs to you. Enjoy the day. Erin

    1. As are you, Miss Erin. Thanks for peeking in~ I wasn't sure anyone would even be reading after such a long hiatus. Much love to you this awesome Christmas season.

  2. A few years ago it finally "clicked" with me that everything ~ every little thing ! ~ happens for a reason. You may think it is a bad thing at the time, but it is just preparing you, setting you up, for that awesome thing that is going to happen down the road, that thing that never could have happened without the "bad" thing creating that path. :::: a little run~on-ish☺ but I think ya get me.
    Luv Ya♥

    1. I love your runonish and I totally get ya. Truer words have never been spoken.
      Love you, my friend!