All up ON my face.

I have a habit of taking a self portrait each year on my birthday for posterity's sake, and since I abruptly decided I'd had enough birthday this year I am just getting around to posting this. 

**Updated: Y'all, like most everything else I say around here this is written in fun.  I like my face, and every mark on it.  Except for #7.  That one is just rude.

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I'm pretty sure if you connect the dots, put your nose on the screen and pull back slowly one of those awesome 3D images won't appear, but everyone around you will think you are crazy which means I'll be in good company.

1.  Scar.  A friend (who might have been very drunk at the time) turned abruptly to point toward something behind us and accidentally put his cigarette out on my forehead.  Which was maybe hilarious to everyone else.

2.  Scar.  Have you ever fallen up the stairs into a corner cabinet?  Me either...

3.  Scar.  Recent aquisition of glass by face.  Sadly, it did not heal in the form of a sexy Cindy Crawford mole.

4.  Scar.  Chicken Pox.  Which I got twice, because regardless of what anyone says German Measles ARE THE SAME THING. 

5.  Scar.  Recent aquisition of glass by chest.  Occurred simultaneously with recent aquisition of glass by face.  Thankfully, it did not heal in the form any kind of mole.

6.  Scar.  Chicken Pox.  The second time.

7.  what!the?   No.  I'm not quite ready to acknowledge anything resembling an age thingy just yet.

8.  Scar.  While playing barbie in the yard with my BFF I heard my name and looked over just in time for a rock to come flying into my eye.  Germany.  1977.  My middle brother had gotten into a fight with a boy who's older brother then picked a fight with my oldest brother while the youngest of those brothers went commando on my 6 year old face.   I ran upstairs to tell my daddy who even though he TOTALLY COULD HAVE did not go over there and beat up their daddy.

9.  Neck Laugh Line #1.

10. Same as #9, but #2.  

11.  Random red rash like babies get on their butts~ only on my nose.  I can't tell you the number of times I was told over the years what a beautiful complexion you have.  Having never been much on skin care that didn't involve roasting my face in the sun I once asked what, exactly, that meant.  The answer given was that one day I would understand.     Like today.

12.  "Dimples".

12.  Lots of them!

13.  Why is that whenever I take a picture of myself or my studio there is always trash in it?

14.  And a half naked mannequin?

15.  Yo' Rodin, THAT'S what some thinkin' looks like.

16.  Who packed those bags?  Is my toothbrush in there?

17.  African Gray Parrot's feet.   If a bird is gonna walk across my face he had better be pretty and witty.

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It just occurred to me that when I'm 80 I'll probably look at this photo, ask if I know her, and then maybe suggest she never leave the house again without foundation.  Of course I'll do it gently.  Like a bull in a china shop.