Christmas is My Jam, y'all.
I have let it go by these last few difficult years
without much of a thought,
but I told myself when I lost my Nana
this summer that nothing, nor anyone, would ever
prevent me from celebrating the joy of this season again.
And I meant it.
So last Friday night Scott helped me put up my tree.
We had to restring all the lights twice
because I started the top strand backwards.
Because of course I did.
We laughed a little at that.
And then I asked him to leave
so that I could cry in private.
This is my daddy.
He died last week.
It looks like my best friend will be joining
me in the same loss very soon.
Her daddy went back into the hospital today.
I think the only thing keeping either one of us standing
is having to hold each other up.
I sit at my torch staring blankly at nothing.
I haven't made a single worthy bead
in a week.
I need the people in my life to have some joy, y'all.
That's the only way I'm going to find any.